Derailment
by Mr.Crouch'sDaughter
Summary: 5 Times Ellie Miller loses it. Act I: After Joe's arrest (Hardy/Miller, a little smut possible in later chapters)
1. Act I

**Derailment**

Author's Note: Broadchurch belongs to the BBC and CC. I am not making any money with this.

Rating: T, might change to M

Pairing: Miller/Hardy

Summary: 5 Times Ellie Miller loses it. Act I: After Joe's arrest

 _Act I_

She sat in the hotel chair and didn't even know how she got there. She should be with her kids, should explain to them what had happened. But how did you do that? How did you tell a child its father was in love with his best friend and killed him?

How did you explain anyone? Miller, the great detective, who couldn't figure out her husband was a paedophile?

"It's not your fault, Miller," Hardy said.

She looked up, surprised. Had she spoken out loud? Apparently she had.

"I should have listened to you. You told me to trust no one."

"I wanted to be wrong."

She laughed wryly. He had been right all along. He had been right and she had scorned him for getting the job she had wanted so badly. She had been the wrong choice, that much was clear now.

In her confusion, a thought rushed through her mind. _He liked him._

For a second, it was too fleeting to grasp, but then she remembered. The dinner. Chocolate. Flowers. Wine. Him laughing with Joe.

He hadn't known. He had liked him. DI Hardy, the great, grumpy, distrusting detective hadn't had a clue. Anger shot through her nerves, the anger he had stopped her from unleashing towards Joe. The anger she had hidden behind the shock.

"You liked him," she said slowly.

"What?" he asked, irritated.

"You bloody liked him!" she shouted and rose. "How could you like him? You, of all people! You don't like anyone around here, fuck, you don't even like the damn town itself! You suspected a mourning father, but let there be wine and you sit on a table and laugh with a killer!"

He stared at her, thunderstruck. But neither his confused expression, nor his fatigue face held her back. Not this time.

"You should have been able to see through him right along. Shit, you could have ended this before we had to drag other people through the dirt!"

"Miller, you know exactly..."

"What? I was married to him! I loved him! I loved him and I hate myself for it. But you, you walk around like your immune to all human feelings, like you give a shit for all social standards, like everyone of us would murder someone when the right buttons are pressed – so why didn't you realize I was sleeping next to a murderer?"

"We caught him, Miller. We caught him before he could hurt anyone else. That needs to be enough."

"It isn't!" she shouted and tears built up in her eyes. "I made him breakfast! Dinner! One night I came home and found him wrapped up in the blankets with Tom and instead of ending it, I smiled and slept in Tom's bed! He could have touched him there and I wouldn't even have noticed! He could have..." She stopped and turned towards the window, trying to wipe the tears off her face.

Suddenly, his hand was at her arm. "Miller," he said, but she forcefully shook off his hand.

"Don't you touch me!" she hissed. "Don't you fucking dare!"

Her eyes glared at him, all the anger and guilt forming an expression of hatred he didn't deserve, but she couldn't preserve. It built up to one last, devastating blow.

"But maybe you really are Britain's worst cop," she spat out.

His arms, reaching out before for her, dropped immediately. His face was filled with pure resignation - but that wasn't what she wanted. That wasn't what she needed. She needed him to shout at her, maybe grab her, shake her, assume some kind of control over her she had lost hours ago.

Nothing came.

"You're pathetic," she snapped and walked out of the room.

* * *

Later, she regretted everything. Tom and Fred were curled up next to her, but their peaceful unawareness did nothing for her. She wanted to call him and apologize, but it seemed as if she was immobilized, as if Joe hadn't only taken her happiness, but also her body, her mind – everything that made her the person she believed to be.

Eventually, some days later, she actually tried to apologize but was brushed off with an annoyed "Forget it, Miller". And she was left wondering whether, behind his grumpiness, Alec Hardy was more sensitive than anyone gave him credit for or whether she was really that irrelevant to him.

 _Reviews and suggestions are always welcome!_


	2. Act II

Author's Note: Broadchurch belongs to the BBC and CC. I am not making any money with this.

Rating: T

Summary: When Alec Hardy has a tinder date.

Thank you for the review & follow!

 **Derailment**

 _Act II_

Ellie Miller didn't think she would ever laugh wholeheartedly again. Well, at least not any time soon. And then, Alec Hardy succumbed to her nagging questions and blurted out, unwillingly:

"For god's sake, it was an online thing!"

She stared at him, thunderstruck. "Wait – an online thing? Like, on the computer?"

"Jesus," he mumbled and rose from his chair.

"But I've seen you trying to write a report. It takes you ages and you hate it. You'd never make it through a whole chat session."

"Stop it, Miller!"

But Ellie's mind was already racing, unable to stop. Not that she wanted to. She had to admit, she sometimes indulged almost diabolically in winding him up. Well, to her excuse, he could be a notorious stiff – it wasn't actually surprising some of the guys called him shithead.

Suddenly, a thought made her eyes glimmer with amusement.

"You didn't do the swiping thing, did you? Like the youngsters?" she asked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied, but it was way too defensive. Alec Hardy probably believed he was inscrutable, but after all the time they had spend together, Ellie had actually become pretty good at interpreting his intonation.

"Oh my god! You did!" she exclaimed.

"Damn Miller, yell a little louder, I don't think everyone in Broadchurch heard you!"

His words didn't even reach her. Her body was shaking with laughter so hard she actually feared she would fall off the chair. In that few seconds, her sorrow seemed to have been swept away; her worries about Tom, Joe, what everyone thought of her were wiped out by her picturing Alec Hardy, misanthrope number 1, presenting on a stupid dating app as England's greatest womanizer.

"I am really glad to contribute to your amusement, Miller. By the way, you spilled your tea."

Ellie looked down on herself to see he was right, but that didn't keep her from giggling, it just made her put the cup on his table. Which earned her another deadly stare.

She wiped her eyes and inhaled deeply to calm down.

"What the hell did you even write there? And what picture did you use?" she asked, her voice still a little high-pitched.

"I didn't do anything! It was Daisy's idea."

"That just makes it sound really miserable, you know," she said and fetched her phone out of her pocket.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"What do you think I am doing? I am getting that thing immediately."

Hardy held out his hand. "Gimme that phone."

"Hush. I need to concentrate."

He bent over the desk, trying to reach for her phone. "Miller, I swear to god..."

"Get off," she replied. "Ah, damn, you need a facebook account... Or wait, maybe..."

"Miller!" he yelled.

She grinned at him. "Was she pretty?"

"Do you think I'm insane? I am not going to tell you another word!"

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. "Fine. Which nickname should I choose... Hmmm..."

"Alright, alright!" he said, raising his hands in defeat. "She was pretty. There, enough nosing around."

"Are you kidding? Nosing around is my job. Sir."

"Miller, if you're not stopping..."

"So, did you bring her home?"

He snorted. "I am not a complete arse."

"Well, that's up for discussion," Ellie said with a smirk. "But... did you get a coffee?"

"We had wine."

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't talk about drinks. Seriously, do you have any idea how this works?"

"If you remember, I have a daughter. That should be proof enough," he said and fell down in his chair, obviously unnerved.

"So you did!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"For fuck's sake! No, I did not have coffee with her! And I doubt I ever will!"

"But you said she was pretty."

He sighed. "You know Miller, not every man just jumps at a woman because she's pretty. But I suppose in a town as small as this, men still drag women to their caves if they find them suitable."

"I could write you a list."

Hardy stared at her, irritated. "What?"

"Of suitable women in this town. So you could try to drag one of them to your cave, instead of just judging them by their looks and a touch on your phone."

"I did not judge her by her looks."

"Oh yeah, I am sure two lines of personal information gave you a great insight on her personality."

He rose again. "I am going home now. You're obviously too inattentive tonight."

"But I haven't even started with the list!"

He shut the door forcefully. Ellie Miller stared after him – and started to giggle again.

 _Next time, Ellie will start to question her relationship with Hardy – and we'll see how well she'll cope with that. If you've got a second, please tell me what you think so far._


End file.
